Bushell on the Box: veteran TV critic Garry Bushell brands EastEnders a melodramatic mess, awash with lazy plots, dodgy politics, and crazy twists.

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For the pilau, soak the rice in a large bowl of cold water. For the salted cucumber, put the cucumber, onion and salt into a bowl. Give it a stir and set aside. To make the pilau, you need a large ...